Facing down Flexism

Offended Frustrated Millennial Woman Feeling Upset Suffering Fro

The word flexism may not have made its way into the dictionary yet but the concept has been around for several years. It refers to the unconscious bias held against those who work flexibly (and often less than full time). It raised its head again last month as research findings released by the social enterprise Timewise suggested it was rife in the workplace.

Flexism impacts behaviour in both overt and covert ways. The Timewise report gave examples of the former: reduced hours workers feeling their input is less valued and that colleagues don’t see them them as a full member of the team. In addition, as they often have less opportunities to socialise with colleagues they can also feel less connected to them.

Covert flexism manifests itself as the unspoken assumptions often held by managers that reduced hours workers are less interested in development and stretch assignments; that their focus is on family rather than career.

If you want more balanced working how do you face down flexism?

Start by changing the conversation. Rather than explaining the reasons for your reduced hours in terms of caring responsibilities; make it clear that this is a conscious strategy to keep you and your skills in the workplace. Focus on the contributions you are making in your job..

Look for opportunities to let your manager know you’re still keen to progress and to take on stretch assignments. Remind him that you’re willing to explore how it might work in practice.

Since you’re the one working non-standard hours the reality is that it’s down to you to create opportunities to socialise and connect with colleagues. Make use of available technology such as intranets; or suggest socialising at lunchtime rather than after work. You may be surprised at how positively your suggestion is received..

You’ve had the courage to ask, now think about how you can influence the thinking of others. Could you start a conversation with your colleagues to explore the benefits of flexible working for them? There’s mounting evidence that men are also looking for balanced working. They want to be involved fathers; and many are also carers of adults. And they too are aware of the subtle flexism rife in organisations. If you open up a discussion who knows where it may lead.

To do all this effectively you’ll need to get ruthless at crafting a workable job. Focus on the key tasks that will help you achieve your objectives. And see making time to network as essential to your development. It’s likely to bring new opportunities. As Herminia Ibarra observes: “If you don’t create new opportunities within the confines of your “day job” they may never come your way.”

Above all else remain confident of your skills and who you are. You get to define yourself, not other people. Define yourself by your contribution and not your limitations.

Men as Balanced Leaders

Father With Baby Working In Office At Home

I started this blog for two reasons: Firstly my passion for and belief that work-life balance should be universally accessible. When we lead balanced lives we benefit and those around us benefit.

Secondly – and as importantly – because the enduring lack of balanced working options at senior levels continues to block the progression of many women.

Social attitudes towards parenting have been shifting rapidly but the belief that taking care of children – and elderly relatives – is still primarily a woman’s responsibility continues. As long as corporate cultures refuse to acknowledge the challenges this poses women continue to be forced to make choices between career and caring.

Until now most of my posts have been written with working mothers in mind. So I felt it was time to acknowledge the increasing challenges faced by working fathers.

Last month the American Psychological Association published research findings showing that men and women around the world experience similar levels of work-family conflicts. The struggles of men are – however – largely unreported.

The role of fathers has shifted dramatically in one or two generations. Younger men generally want more day to day involvement in their children’s lives. Professor Caroline Gatrell of Lancaster University calls this ‘involved fathering’.

And legislation is increasingly supporting them. For example, the UK recently introduced Shared Parental Leave.

When they opt to become Balanced Leaders men face many of the same challenges faced by women. Men are also worried about how a desire for work-life balance will penalise career progression. And those entrenched social expectations make it difficult for them to talk openly about the issue.

At the Wharton Business School Professor Stew Friedman has been running the Total Leadership Programme since the early 1990s. The programme guides and supports both men and women to balanced leadership in every area of their lives.

Programmes like Stew’s are rare. Senior male role models are rare – although high profile men are beginning to step up as visible champions of balanced working. Men are being challenged to both redefine masculinity and the status quo of outdated corporate cultures. In many ways they are as much pioneers as the women I’ve written about in earlier posts.

When we support men to be Balanced Leaders we support their wellbeing and we provide new role models for the next generation. And as Balanced Leadership slowly becomes the norm it will also positively benefit women’s career progression.